Al Fresco

We had our first dinner out on the deck this weekend. The candles were one of my first IKEA purchases ever. Just 5 bucks and this candle holder can form a circle or a straight or wavy line, whatever. So cool. It fits perfectly around the umbrella pole in the outside table. Jon's parents came over and we grilled out burgers. We tend to chat a bit so dinner ran late. It was a little dark, but we could still see a bit of what we were eating. While having dinner my inlaws proposed something to us they had been planning/looking in to and wondered if we'd be up for it. So all mothers out there, esp adoptive mothers bringing babies home from China, I need your advice. Jon's parents want us to change our return trip plans. So instead of coming straight home from China to the mainland, we'd meet them in Hawaii and spend a few days there. My first thought was hell yeah I'm all in, and that would help Ling Ling (and us) with the whole time change thing. You know, she'd only have to adjust to a few hours difference at a time. But then I wonder if we shouldn't just come straight home. But then I think, we're already in the neighborhood and what other chance would we have to go to Hawaii esp. with it being a treat from our in-laws? So, what would you do?

Kicking it

The season finale of CSI sparked some conversation around here about ways we don't want to die. I've always had a top 3 list beyond the obvious: drowning, burning alive, murder, torture, smothering, starvation, attack by wild animal. If I had to choose of course I'd pick going to sleep and never waking up but beyond that I guess I'd go with freezing to death and carbon monoxide. Those seem harmless enough- well, other than the death part.
Lisa and I were rehashing the CSI season finale and I was telling her how stressed I was the whole time because I couldn't believe they actually combined two of my biggest ways to die fears into one show.

My top 3 ways I'm terrified of dying:
1. Being buried alive
2. Being eaten alive by ants (I hate to itch)
3. Driving down the highway behind a big truck carrying metal beams and the strap breaks and the beam comes through the window decapitating me and possibly any passengers (I woulnd't want my death to start a chain reaction where anyone else would be hurt or killed)

Sorry, I guess this is morbid talk. I don't think about it all the time or anything. Well, #3 comes up when I'm driving so I stay clear of any truck carrying long dangerous looking things. It's just something I know. I know my top 3 ways I don't want to die like I can rattle off the top 5 things I don't like to eat. (asparagus, oysters, capers, fish soup of any kind, and anything ending in wurst)
I know I can't be the only person who's thought of this can I? How don't you want to die?

Skate

Last summer I bought a new pair of roller skates. I hadn't had any in a while and I like how now you can get them sneaker style. I grew up roller skating, but hadn't skated in years. So last June I bought a cute pair and thought how cool would it be if roller skating came back and was hip again. Imagine my delight when I started seeing roller skating everywhere on tv lately. First in that sparkle Diet Coke ad. Then in a rap video I noticed some skating. The most recent is the roller skating iPod ad with the cool song from the Gorillaz, Feel Good Inc. I'm so excited, I think it's really coming back. How cute would that be to get Ling Ling her very own tiny skates?

Diffused

Yesterday the fabulous Karen drove down for a wonderful afternoon of lunch, shopping, and lots of talking. It was very cool to spend some time with someone who is my age and adopting from China too. We don't know too many people who are or have adopted, and the ones we do know are much older than us. Anyway, we tooled around town, had some great Thai for lunch, and stopped into a few funky little shops. She found a cute outfit for Gwen (daughter to be), and I found a cool reed fragrance diffuser from Earth Elements at one of my favorite stores Paper Skyscraper. (although the one I purchased was quite a few dollars less than the prices on their site- not sure how or why). I'd been looking for something to scent Ling Ling's room and Jon was quick to point out that flaming candles don't mix with babies. So this will be perfect. I found one in pink that matches the wall color in her room. So then I was looking at these diffusers online, and I've been interested in something to use all around the house that I didn't have to constantly replace like candles or plug in wall scenty things. These diffusers apparently last for months and the oil to refill them is wicked cheap (like $3). I'm going to get these for all over the house. And the cool thing is- you don't have to go buy the pricey kits. All you need is a vase, reeds, and oil. I'm thinking this will be a good Christmas present to put together for people this year. Hmmm.

Happy Birthday Little Sister!

Tuesday was my sister Sara's 29th birthday. The family all met up at Chuck E. Cheese (Sara's choice-for the boys). We ate lunch then she opened up her presents- Joey helped. You must click on that picture to enlarge it because his face is way too cute- he looks more excited than his mom is to be receiving a set of chip and dip party plates. What 4 month old wouldn't be? Jake had fun with all the little rides and things . Jon was still waking up. We all played a bunch of games and won those little tickets. So Jake walked out with a Tonka truck and that made his day.

After lunch we dropped the boys off at Sara's house then went to see the new house her and my BIL Marce are building. They have a great lot in a really good neighborhood that's close to all the conveniences they'll need. She then took me to another community so I could see the model of their particular home. Such a cute house. I can't wait for their house to be finished.

When we got news that Sara and Marc's current house finally sold! Woohoo! So we decided to stay for a celebratory dinner- Marc made wings mmmm, and we had cake as well while watching the final American Idol singing showdown. Jon and I finally got home a little past 11pm. Whew. Long day- but totally worth it. Happy Birthday Sara! xoxo

All Blown Up

The pugs have a new thing where they carry their balloons around by the little balloon tie. It is too cute. Ike gets a little nutty with his sometimes though, so he goes through more balloons than Kea. He just forgets that pug teeth are sharp!

I am an International Jackass

So we ordered Chinese take out again last night (this place not only has really great food but ridiculously cheap prices- like $4 for dinner so that's how we can afford to budget it in, plus they often give us freebies).
We get there and I go in and Amy is back from maternity leave. She's married to the main dude that works there, Jimshum. They just had their 2nd child, a girl named Katie- sister to Kevin. She's all excited to see me and says "my husband told me you're going to China to get a baby" and she had tons of questions. After we talked about that and she quizzed me on the little tiny few words of Chinese I've learned she asked where was my husband? I told her he was in the car waiting and asked about her husband, Jimshum. She looked at me funny then said he worked that morning and was at home. I said "Am I saying his name right? Jimshum? Jee um shuh um?" I made sure to say it loud and sound it out.
She said to me "No. His name is Jason."
OMG. I am such an ass. I've been calling him Jimshum on the phone, in person, in conversation, on the internet, for a year! Before I asked his name I just called him Excuse Me. I guess I just heard Jimshum when he said his name was Jason. How easy is Jason?? How can I screw that up? I mean, his wife's name is Amy, their kids are Kevin and Katie. WHY would he be Jimshum?? No wonder he always looked at me a little weird when I'd walk in and yell Hey Jimshum! like the jackass I am. He must think I have a major speech impediment and am not fit to raise a child from their country. Oh no, I hope he doesn't think I was making fun of him! I'm the laughing stock of the local Chinese community. I am so embarrassed.
I'm going to go paint a scarlet C on my chest now.

The Power of 3

Lisa challenged me to take this little quiz. 3's my lucky number so I'll go for it.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Shannon
2. Shann.y
3. Honey

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. heyshann.ygirl
2. shannylj
3. prettycraftygirl

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my hair
2. my mouth
3. my eyes

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I have wide feet
2. I have short stubby legs and arms and hands
3. I have excema

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. English
3. American

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Losing Jon, a family member, or a good friend to death
2. Being rear ended by another vehicle, esp on a highway causing a pileup. (all because of a terrible wreck I had in 2001 where I was rear ended by a Cadillac at 55 mph and I was stopped at a light in my tiny Honda Civic. It wasn't pretty)
3. never having children

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Lip gloss or balm
2. Lotion
3. Water

THREE THINGS YOU'RE WEARING NOW:
1. Pink satin sleep mask up on my head
2. Nightgown (I just woke up)
3. Wedding rings

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS
*this changes a lot but BNL and Liz are forever favorites.
1. Barenaked Ladies
2. Liz Phair
3. Aslyn

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS
* of all time or at this moment? I'll go with a mix.
1. Baby I love you- Aretha Franklin
2. Wally- Aslyn
3. Gotta Get Up From Here- Ellie Lawson

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Love
2. Humor
3. Trust

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I have one tattoo and think about getting another one a lot.
2. I have no desire to travel to Europe or Africa.
3. I am scared of the dark.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Hands
3. Smile

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Making Jewelry
2. Painting
3. Scrapbooking

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go get Ling Ling
2. Go on a private cruise with all my family and friends
3. Win the lottery

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Mother
2. Party Planner
3. Artist and boutique owner

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Alaskan cruise
2. Las Vegas
3. Atlantis

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Aidan
2. Claire
3. Sophia

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Have children
2. Visit each of the 50 states
3. Be a contestant on Family Feud and The Price is Right.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL/BOY:
1. I love Makeup & beauty products
2. I love all things sparkly and glittery
3. I don't like yard work or getting dirty and sweaty

THREE CELEBRITY CRUSHES
1. Brad Pitt
2. Orlando Bloom
3. Jeff Goldblum

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Shannon O.
2. Amanda
3. Bethanie

Feeling Hot Hot Hot

Our house is a 2 story and we have 2 heating/cooling units. The unit that cools the upstairs has decided that there is no need for cool air where we sleep, shower, use the computer, do crafts, etc. Lucky for us it's been unseasonably cool. It's only 79 degrees today. I'm dying people. Remember from your science class that heat rises. Sleeping upstairs lately has been like crawling into a hot bean burrito and trying to rest. The a/c man is coming today between 2 and 4 and hopefully this will be a quick fix. Pray that I don't melt.

The Process

Hannah asked if we'd be going to China to get Ling Ling and I realized I haven't explained the process. According to our agency this is what our lives will be like the next year or so:
-Parents apply with CWA and send Application Fee. Fees are billed as incurred and are non-refundable. Fees will wreck you financially, but it will all be worth it in the end.
-Upon acceptance, CWA provides access to the Initial Adoption Procedure (IAP) webpage.
-Parents complete and return all forms from IAP and send first half CWA Professional Service fee.
-Parents are assigned a CWA case manager. Case manager tries to maintain a straight face while determining if these two goofballs are fit to be parents.
-Parents apply with the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS) and begin a home study with a certified investigator from their state. CWA provides home study services for parents living in NC or SC. (for another fee) Social worker walks into Parents' home and laughs menacingly as she writes nasty things on her report. Doubts if home is safe for child while being inhabited by two bitchy cats and two insane pugs.
-Parents send their completed dossier (paperwork) to CWA along with the second half of CWA Professional Services Fee, the China Program Fee and the translation fee. Parents obsessively check with agency to make sure dossier wasn't lost.
-CWA sends dossier to China for translation, review, and approval. A child is referred by the Chinese government. Parents receive pictures and medical information. Approximate wait time for referral is 6 months. Parents go crazy waiting for referral because there is only so much decorating you can do.
-Parents send post adoption administration fee and China travel fees to CWA within 30 days. Parents purchase international airline tickets directly from travel agent. Parents beg for first class upgrade.
-Parents travel to pick up their child. Mother goes into ugly cry when child is placed in her arms. Mother's face must now be edited on home video as she looks like Tammy Faye after a monsoon. Parents pay adoption expenses to Chinese adoption authorities, children’s welfare center, and US Consulate.
-Child receives citizenship upon returning to the US. Hooray!
-Parents and child go home and spend next few weeks recovering from jet lag while child tries to get used to the woman with yellow hair and the giant man who are now her parents.

You Want Fries With That?

While we were in Baltimore last week I noticed a strange condiment being served with french fries- gravy! When the first waitress asked if I wanted gravy with my fries I was all confused and asked what kind of gravy? See, in the South we have red eye gravy, country gravy (for biscuits or country fried steak), brown gravy (for mashed potatoes), and your various sauces that could be called gravy. Plus, I know that some Northern or Italian families call the sauce you put on pasta gravy. Well, it turns out they serve brown Thanksgiving gravy with french fries! Who knew? It was good! And if you think about it it makes more sense than ketchup- you wouldn't put ketchup on your mashed potatoes. I tried the fry gravy while we were there, but poor Jon got too much of a good thing and had quite the gravy fry overdose tummy ache by the time we got home! But now he wants to keep gravy on hand for french fry dipping. We'll make french fry gravy popular down here so it will sweep the nation!

Playing Catch Up

First, you know the drill, click on all pics to enlarge. Ok, now that we have that out of the way I can talk about this last week. Lots to tell you. First, the wedding on the 7th. Short, hot, no sign on the church so we almost blew right past it, ring bearer blew his nose through the whole ceremony. My sister yelled out "WE DO" at the wrong time- so funny. The parents were supposed to answer "we do" when asked if they'd help the couple stay holy or something and from behind me I hear Sara yell out with them. Then the minister asked the congregation if we'd help them stay holy and that was her cue. Ah well, something fun for the video. There was a little boy there who'd yell out "Yay!" throughout the ceremony- cute. The reception was next door and was really pretty. After making an appearance we went to Shealy's for some fabulous fried chicken and barbque, then headed home. Jake and Joey did great- it was a long day and a long 3 hour one way drive for them.



Monday afternoon Jon and I took a last minute road trip up to Baltimore. He wanted to see his Minnesota Twins play and that's the closest they come to our house. We literally did not know if we were going until right up to Monday and we had no idea how long we were staying until they released the pitching schedule. I am such a good wife. ;) We pulled in to Lisa's house at 1am Tuesday. After a little sleep we went to lunch, a market so Jon could get some Utz chips, then to Federal Hill park. We were enjoying the gorgeous day when we noticed a camera crew setting up just a few feet away. I took some secret spy pictures as we speculated who they were interviewing. Laura went and asked (duh) and it turned out to be Miguel Tejada! Turns out he's the short stop for the Orioles. So we got our pictures taken with him and even a few seconds of camera time. We went to the Tuesday night game with Lisa, Pete, Laura, and Brandon. It was a lot of fun and the weather was fantastic our whole trip.

Wednesday Jon and I went to the day game while everyone else worked. Again perfect weather and we had great seats. One thing we learned about the Orioles this trip is that the mascot doesn't have a name. How can you not name the bird? Let's go with Ollie or something! But nope, it's just the bird. Pete named him the Sh&% Pigeon and we're going with that.

Thursday morning we got up bright and early and headed home. We stopped at IKEA in Woodbridge for a few hours on the way. I can't even tell you how happy it makes me that Jon loves IKEA as much as I do. He would have never let me name Ike and Kea after IKEA otherwise. We didn't spend much, just stocked up on Jon's coffee (only $2.49 a lb!), and some straws, napkins, and a few other odds and ends. Everything was great until my credit card was declined at the check out. I couldn't believe it! I was so embarrassed! I had paid that Visa off last week. I called BofA from the car after paying with a Mastercard and losing my USAirways miles I would have gotten with the Visa. They had blocked our cards after noticing charges in states other that NC & SC. I appreciate the security but was still mad. The lady said "Well we called you at home." Lotta good that does us when WE AREN'T THERE! DUH WE'RE ON VACATION TRYING TO BUY A CLOTHES HAMPER! I talked to 394 people it seems at BofA and even got a little emotional pleading for my miles and telling them that my daughter is in China in an orphanage and DO YOU WANT ME TO GO CHILDLESS BECAUSE YOU BLOCKED MY CARD? Jon was laughing so hard, but it was the principle of the thing. Call my cell for the love of Jim (I can't say for the love of Pete anymore since I know one now)! I called IKEA and asked could they switch the purchase to the USAirways card and asked if they wanted Lingling to remain an orphan like BofA does but no one would help. I need those miles because Lord help us if we have to fly coach for over 14 hours to China! Thank the Lord IKEA is opening June 29th in Atlanta and I won't have to shop at international adoption hating Woodbridge anymore. ;)

Shay Shay

We ordered Chinese take out for dinner last night (shocker!) and the girl who's filling in for the regular girl Amy while Amy's on maternity leave now recognizes my voice. I think I sound fairly normal but I must sound like some screechy albatross or something. She's only been working there for like a month! Anyway, Jimshun was there and he and Amy are married and they are so excited about Lingling. He had asked us if we had kids so we told him about the adoption- I don't just run around screaming about it although I'm so excited I just may start. So each time I go in to pick up dinner we now get freebies and a mini Chinese lesson. (I've been trying to learn a little online). He tried to teach me the word for Good Bye last night but he's too good and I just can't get the pronunciation down. He said it then I said it then he says No, oadhfjoaih oaihjd, and I just said good bye in English and and added Good Bye to the list of words I need to learn. I do have hello (ni hao) and thank you (xie xie) down though! You kinda say thank you like shay shay. Easy enough. I've also learned mom (ma ma) and dad (ba ba). Now as long as everyone in China could just please slow it down when we get there we should be ok!

No scratch offs

I was in line at a gas station buying water about 30 minutes South of the Virginia border Monday when I heard the following conversation between a guy in line in front of me and the clerk:
Customer: Hi I'd like 2 scratch off tickets please.
Worker: You'd have to go to Virginia for that.
C: What do you mean, I just came from there.
W: We don't have the lottery.
C: Are you serious? You're like the only state on the East coast without one. Not even scratch offs?
W: Nope.
C: Wow. So then what do people buy when they get gas?
W: Well, we do have pecan log rolls.

What's Your Name, Little Girl?

The Social Security Administration has released the top 10 most popular names given to babies in 2004. Lingling didn't make the list. What cracks me up about this list is that both of my nephews' names are in the top 10, Jacob and Joseph. They have been for a few years. My sister insists that they are unusual names because "I don't know any Jacobs!". Of course you don't! Until you have babies you aren't hanging out too much with the diaper crowd!

Smash

We were on our way to meet my MIL for lunch when she called Jon's phone. Seems she stopped at Office Depot on her way to lunch and while inside someone smashed her passenger window and stole her bookbag. Just a little tote with a couple of apples on it with a couple of books inside. So we met her in the parking lot and waited with her for the cops and my FIL to come. While we were waiting many people came in and out of the parking lot and being curious asked us lots of questions. My MIL even got her first "bless your heart". The police officer took a good hour to get there so some of the questions got repetitive. Then finally we were just laughing about them because even though they are the standard things you'd ask, people (and us) sometimes say things that sound silly as soon as they are said.
"Oh no did someone break into your car?"......no. We broke out. Thank goodness. We were getting hungry.
"Did that just happen?".......Nah. Last Tuesday. We just like to come back and revisit the scene.
And my personal favorite:
"Did that happen here?".....No. It happened over at the Cracker Barrel. We brought the glass and scattered it here because we wanted to relive the whole experience.
The cop finally showed up and pulled into the parking lot. We all got out of my FIL's car (it was cold and windy) and I waved the cop over. He waved, circled around our cluster of cars, then proceeded to leave! My MIL ran after him and managed to bang on his trunk when he slowed down so finally he stopped.
What really got my attention was all the women who were shopping at Office Depot who asked about us. When we told them what happened literally every single one of them (about 5) and one man went back to their cars and got their purses (the man grabbed a bag and put it into his trunk). So every woman was leaving her purse in plain view in a parking lot! One lady hadn't even locked her car! She even told us (wallet in hand) that she always leaves her purse in the front seat! Be careful out there ladies!

Tease me

I've been thinking of setting up a separate site just for the adoption. My sister is the only one in my family who really knows about my blog, and I'd like to keep it that way. But I'd also like to share our progress with the adoption with our family and friends. Plus, it's not all I think about. It's only about 99% of what's on my mind these days. ;) So this blog deals with other topics too. Andrea left a comment about a tool that can help me with all this. So...in the coming days I'll get something set up. Thank you Andrea!

The 1% of my brain that's not thinking about the adoption is currently obsessed, errr...focused on this particular bag Coach has decided to use to tease me.

Not only do I have a thing for Coach anyway, but I love this shade of green and the whole ladybug thing...well the Chinese consider them good luck. So they are sort of a symbol a lot of American families have adopted as part of their Chinese adoption experiences. So it touches my heart. But it will not be touching my hands as every cent is going to the Lingling fund. Sigh. Man how cute would I be toting this bag around?! Damn Coach!

Easy Breezy

It has been so gorgeous around here lately. The usual average temperature this time of year is 77 degrees and the last few weeks it's barely gotten over 73. We've had the windows open all the time and it's just been great.
We've got a busy month ahead of us. Saturday we're going to a wedding a couple of hours from here. Then Sunday is Mother's Day of course, so we'll be busy with the mamas. Monday we're hitting the road for a quickie trip, and it's also my Nanny's birthday (paternal grandmother). Then the 14th is my maternal grandmother's birthday. The 19th is my best friend Lisie's birthday! The 22nd marks 7 years that Jon and I have been together. The 24th is my sister Sara's birthday. Then Memorial Day. In the meantime I aim to have a job by the end of the month so we can get our application out to our adoption agency. (me working is not a requirement of the agency's, just a personal requirement). Oh, and we're waiting on my friend Michelle to hurry up and give birth to that baby already! =) Looks like I need to get out to Hallmark!

The Chosen One

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet...but we finally chose an agency! It took a long time as there are a bajillion adoption agencies out there. It's a real leap of faith to choose a company, give them thousands of dollars, and hope they deliver a child. And it's not easy to find personal referrals when you don't know anyone who's adopted from China. But Jon's Mom met that couple Lou & Debbie who brought home Abigail last summer and are in the middle of their 2nd adoption from China now, and they had nothing but wonderful things to say about their agency. So I ordered a packet, did some research on the agency and then ended up finding a few blogs who used the same agency.
After watching tons of dvds, reading a million packets, staying up late researching agencies online it's good to finally have that decision behind us.
We've chosen Christian World Adoption. They are based out of the Carolinas, can do our homestudy (I've read horror stories about homestudies done by seperate agencies), are a nonprofit agency, and they've been really quick to answer questions. We're sending in our application very soon. It's the first step and we're really excited! Yay!

Domestic vs. International

VS.

Ever since we announced our plans to adopt from China people have been full of questions. One of them being "Why China? Why not here?". A valid question. I'm all about taking care of your own house before you mess around in other houses. But we have our reasons.

First- I want to mention that about 5 years ago someone very close to me gave birth to a little girl who was adopted by a very nice couple. I experienced the entire process with her and learned so much. Since we've been involved with Lingling's adoption I've come to realize a few things. One is that I've never been able to give birth- I just didn't know that until recently. Also, I think that the adoption I was so close to was a primer for me and Jon both (we had been dating only a few months at the time). It was a fairly open adoption relationship for the first year. We even went to her first birthday party. But then the family moved to another state. I learned so much that year. And it's because of that adoption and other adoption stories that I came to the conclusion that I would not want to adopt domestically. Jon's dad is a judge and he's got connections and could probably get us a healthy infant but we just don't feel comfortable.

Here's why:
1. We can't take the chance that the birthmother would want the baby back. I've heard too many heartbreaking stories of babies being taken out of the only homes they knew because their biological parents wanted them back.
2. It would break my heart if we raised our children only to have them decide one day to go find their "real" parents. I don't want to share my role as a parent with anyone but Jon. That may sound selfish but we've been through enough heartbreak. I don't want my daughter to have to come up with cutesy names for her "real" mom. I don't want her bio mom at Thanksgiving dinner.
3. The internet. It is too easy these days to find people. I don't want the bio parents finding my kids one day. I don't want us to have to move to get away from the bio parents. Again, I know it's selfish. I don't need a bunch of comments letting me know I should be secure in my parenting and I should help my child find her parents. Yeah, I know. But I'm not that girl. So don't try and change me please. Love me as I am.
4. I don't want my child feeling any shame in relation to her adoption. When Lingling asks why did her bio mom give her up I can safely say "She loved you so very much. But the government only allows one child per family. It was very hard and she had to be very strong and she took you to the orphanage where we came to take you home to your forever family." We won't have some story about crack or rape or alcohol that we'll have to figure out how to explain to our baby that DSS had to take her screaming from her cracked out mother's arms. No one is at fault with the Chinese adoption but a faceless law.

Now, before you start typing your hate mail. Let me just tell you how the adoption birth mother that I'm close to changed my life. She is the strongest person I know. Giving that precious baby girl to a couple who so desperately wanted children was the single most selfless act I've ever witnessed. That birth mother experienced pain, heartwrenching pain, and she still did what was best for her child. She gave her baby to a family who could provide a better life. My heart ached for her then, and it does now. Because that pain will never go away. There will always be a hole in her heart for her lost daughter. Even though now she has a fabulous husband and two wonderful children.

So don't think I don't have the utmost respect for birthmothers' feelings. I know that it is an amazingly difficult decision to give your child away, no matter what the circumstances. I know that their lives are affected forever. I am incredibly thankful to my future children's birthmothers, for without them we would never have a family.

With a Chinese adoption the moment we get on that plane, all ties to our babies' birth families are cut. Our kids are our kids. We will honor their heritage and teach them all about their country of birth. We'll take them to China when they are old enough to appreciate the trip. We'll be able to go to the grocery store, or the mall, or the local theme park and not have to worry if we'll run into the birth mother (a possibility if we adopted locally). We'll be able to raise our daughters, love them like crazy, and live our lives.




Flags courtesy of ITA's
Flags of All Countries used with permission.

Or instead of pink and frilly I could go with...

Baby Punk wear. There are some great onesies and t-shirts out there like: Found at ,a href="http://www.tshirthell.com/babyhell.shtml">Baby Hell. Or this one: found at Baby Wit. For the timid on the outside, but punk on the inside you could go with the edgy but safe: found at My Punk Baby. I think a healthy mix of both is in order.

Dress Up

I always thought I'd have boys. Little twin boys. 3 different psychics told me that I would have twin boys. Shows what they know. Now as it turns out my sister has 2 boys and since we're adopting from China we'll end up with 2 girls. And I'm so excited about it! I can't wait to have girls now. I'm such a girly girl anyway. And they are more fun to dress up!

*Oops! Forgot to include the link where I found these cute clothes....TuttiBella.