Friday, April 07, 2006

What a croc!

I received a disturbing letter from a relative a few days ago and I've been debating about blogging about it. But this is my journal so I feel it warrants a mention. In the letter my relative, let's call her Tina, made some strange remarks. So I called Tina and during our conversation things went from bad to worse. All centered around our adoption. Here are some highlights:
  • Tina thinks we should sell our pugs and put the money in the baby fund. Ok, no. Those pugs saved me, gave me something to nurture and care for during my lowest times while dealing with my infertility issues. They kept me company while I was recovering from surgeries. They are as close to kids as we've ever had and they aren't going anywhere.
  • Tina and her husband say they want to help financially. We have NEVER asked anyone for money. Tina thinks by offering financial help she can dictate what we spend our money on. For the record, any $$ that comes in from people helping with the adoption goes straight to the baby fund. But we have to live our lives. I have to buy an outfit to wear for my mom's wedding for instance. I won't spend baby $ on that, but $ will be spent and I'm sorry Tina you can't tell me what to do. Believe me, we're on a budget. We clip coupons and have given up date nights out, movies at the theatre, nice dinners in restaurants, and we only buy what we need. But dammit I'm not going to feel guilty if every once in a while I spring for a frappucino or get my hair done.
  • Tina mentioned that her brother and sister "were going to send you $ til they found out you are adopting from China. If it were an American baby they'd help." By that, I'm sure they mean white baby. Cause I seem to recall some not so nice comments about minorities made by said brother and sister. And frankly, they can keep their bigot money. Then Tina threw in "Have you thought about Russia? Their babies look more American." Again, white. Ugh!
  • After all this talk about how we should be budgeting and scrimping and how my entire family on Tina's side is broke so I shouldn't expect anything from them (which I'm not and never have) I was then reminded that we are expected to show up to another relative's wedding in a VERY pricey posh area where hotels run $300+ a night 3 states away. So save all you can and don't buy clothes or food but spend $1000 to come to a wedding so we can show off. See, Tina feels bad for the mother of the groom who is "forced" to spend $10k on the rehearsal dinner. Oh, and did I mention they are registered at Tiffany's? Tina didn't forget to tell me that.
I swear after this conversation I needed to play a good game of whack-a-mole. Sorry for the rant. It's just so hard. Yes, we're doing all we can. But adoption isn't cheap. We still have bills to pay. We're working. I'm trying to be creative about fundraising (anyone wanna buy some earrings?). But we are not soliciting. Apparently some relatives thought our adoption announcement was a solicitation. Maybe it was the return envelope and pledge card that threw them off. Ha! We just figured that if I got pregnant people would find out so why not tell everyone we're adopting? Plus, EVERYONE would ask when were we gonna start our family so this would answer that question. Who knew people would assume we were asking for $? We never even mentioned money! Arrgghh! Why is this so hard? Why is this so touchy? Why do people feel like they can say anything they please when it comes to babies? No one in their right mind would utter similar comments if they were directed somewhere else. Like if I were going to marry a Chinese man, would someone have the balls to say to me "Have you thought about dating a Russian? They look more American."

Ok, enough of that. I will now end my post on a happier note. I have fallen in love again....this time with Crocs! Yes Tina, I paid $29 for the most comfortable shoes known to man. Deal with it. I love them so much! I have wide feet and have a hard time finding shoes that are comfy. These are amazing! I wore them to the dr's office yesterday for my 2nd hep shot (and Jon's 1st- he lived!) and I think I've got the whole office sold on them. I read somewhere that one lady went to China and took just one pair of shoes- her Crocs. I believe it! They are perfect year round. And so lightweight! This pic shows them in orange- I've got the hot pink. I'd love a pair in each color! And I can't wait to get Ling Ling a little pair of red ones!

1 comment:

Mark and Kristine said...

I've been a lurker here for a few months, silently cheering on your pending adoption from Seattle. I have two daughters adopted from China myself and love reliving the early days through others following the same path. As for your looser relative...I think it helps me to keep things in perspective: Life with my girls is the BEST thing EVER and the occasional idiotic remark is an issue but one that so totally pales next to getting to snuggle with my soul-mate babies that I can sort of shrug them off...usually after giving the speaker a little education partly because I am a teacher by profession and partly because I get pissed off. I know you don't have your wee ones yet but hold them in your mind's eye and keep doing your excellent work sharing your joy.