Thursday, June 16, 2005

Another round of extract please bar keep!

My husband Jon is a manager for a local grocery store chain. He's been with this company for 15 years and has lots of stories. He worked late last night and came home with quite a doozy.
Jon was watching the security cameras last night when he noticed a scuffle on one of the aisles. He went to check it out and came upon two men in a full on brawl in the Health and Beauty Aids section of the store. Jon used his portable phone to call 911 and rallied the troops (any larger men working in the store at the time who could help keep innocent customers away from the brawl). You don't want to get directly involved as you never know who's carrying a gun these days and I'm not having my husband blown to bits over a dispute on aisle 6. The cops came, tried to calm the men down, but they were out of control. Four more police cruisers showed up and they finally got the fighters under control. The story then came out.
Man #1 had spent the previous couple of hours hiding out in the restroom drinking stolen vanilla extract. Drunk, and I'm guessing rather fragrant, he stumbled out into the store proper and discovered his brother was doing some shopping. Vanilla man had some beef with his brother and decided the best place to settle this was near the deodorant and toothpaste. Brother was caught off guard, but put up a decent fight. These guys didn't go down easy. There was much cursing, yelling, and throwing of assailants against police vehicles.
And now there's some serious extract restocking to do on the baking aisle. Who knew you could get wasted in a bathroom on vanilla extract? They sell beer & wine. What would make a guy bypass the party aisle and head straight for the baking section?

1 comment:

NCTRNL said...

You can get drunk on vanilla extract? Good lord...that would have been useful in junior high...