Boob splatter

I have big boobs. And if you have big boobs like me then you know that by the end of the day your husband can glance at your chest and know exactly where you were and what you had for lunch. They attract stains. So I got this Tide to go pen to keep in my purse. All large breasted women must go buy this because it has miracle powers. I have not dropped one bit of food or drink or copy toner or anything on the girls since I've been carrying the Tide pen in my purse. All hail the Tide pen! Tide, me and the girls are forever grateful.