Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Witchy Woman

I finished reading the latest Harry Potter book recently and tonight Shannon and I were discussing it. I have questions. Don't worry, I won't spoil anything for any readers, these are general wonderings...
- Why do they have to have a wand to do magic? If I were a wizard I'd want to be able to just think my wish and it would happen. Those wands are long and don't look like they'd fit in my purse.
-If you have magic powers, why would you wash dishes, or peel potatoes, or rake the yard? Wouldn't your clothes just never get dirty?
-Why would you need to drive anywhere? Or purchase things? Couldn't you just say "I need a book of stamps" and there they'd be?

If I were a witch I'd have all sorts of spells on myself- the no need to ever shave my legs or underarms again spell, the feet will be pedicure perfect always spell, the thou shalt not spill anything on thy shirts spell, the no more zits charm, the no more random hairs that show up but only after they are like a half inch long (why don't you notice them before?) spell, the never forget where I parked again spell, the insto presto lipo spell. Our adoption would have taken, oh, a week instead of a year, and we'd be guaranteed two babies and a paid for nanny. And all adoptive parents to be would be able to buy first class plane tickets for the price of coach. I'd also make all those techno gadgets that I'm lusting over more affordable. Why doesn't the iPod nano have a nano price tag? If it's that tiny it should be about $27 and no more. Of course I'd cure hunger and poverty and disease and all that if I were a witch, but those are givens and it's more fun to discuss the Coach bags only cost $1 spells! And the spell I'd put on my wide paddle feet that would let me wear sex and the city shoes without looking dangerous and pained. What spells would you brew up?

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