Friday, February 02, 2007

One door closes...

I realized that I haven't explained yet if we're still adopting from China. As our social worker told us "That option is closed to you now". So no, we're not adopting from China. It feels like a break up. We've been in love with China and our Chinese baby for 2 years. We've collected books, art, toys, all sorts of stuff about China. I even started learning Chinese (of course I only got as far as the basic phrases including "I'm an American and don't speak Chinese". A fact that I'm sure was painfully obvious).
We're still going to be parents of a child of another race. But I need to keep the country of her origin private for now. Until we get a referral. When will that be? Our dossier will be complete in about 100 days or when we get our 171 H (immigration approval) and then it will be sent to the country. When we get our referral will then be based on how many available babies there are and how far down the list we are. We're hoping for 3 months or less after dossier submition. Then some legal things need to be taken care of and our dossier will need to get processed in country. Bottom line is we're hoping to have our baby home by or around Christmas. But that could always change, as international adoption is unpredictable. We're still asking for a girl. Not holding our breath for twins. Apparently they are extremely rare in this country. After we get our girl we'll go back for a boy. Jon's decided he wants one of each and we figure we might as well take advantage of the one thing we can control in this whole adoption and build the classic family. I just can't wait.

Oh, by the way, hello and welcome to my new readers! I've noticed some new names in the comments lately and I appreciate you stopping by. Sit back, relax, have a cup of tea! Enjoy the insanity that is my life while we stumble along toward parenthood.

12 comments:

foodiechickie said...

The best of luck to you and Jon Shannon. I know this goes without saying but you both have to deal with so much. I hope you have your child by Christmas.

Krista said...

I know that coming to this decision must've hurt. But you're absolutely right ... that when one door closes another one always opens eventually. The most important part is that you WILL be parents. And it doesn't matter which path you take as long as you get there. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful stocking stuffer a new baby would make for you! Crossing my fingers all goes well for you.

C.J. said...

I can't wait to follow your steps to parenthood. From that timeline it looks like we may become parents around the same time!

Hoping so!

Lisanne said...

Good luck! I hope that you'll have your new little one in your arms by Christmas. Hey, did you see "Oprah" yesterday (Friday)? The lady who invented Jibbitz was on! :)

Krista said...

Hugs from me and from Becca. We'll be following your journey (cliche much?) along with everyone else.

Julie said...

Eh. I knew those dumb*** regulations would hurt some good people. I guess you're one of the casualties. I'm SO sorry to hear it.

On the positive side...I suppose once she comes home, it hardly matters which country she was born in, just that she's your daughter.

Good luck :)

M3 (Mary-Mia) said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear this. You have a wonderful attitude, are going to be a kick-ass mom, and I can't wait to hear more details. Sending you huge hugs. Huge ones!!

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Christina said...

Fingers, toes, legs, and eyes crossed for you that your baby girl comes home ASAP! :)

MIchele Lane said...

I dont know if this will make sense but your entry brought it to mind.When I was pregnant with Caitlin I spent 8 mos in bed. Sick. It wasnt morning sickness, it was morning,noon and night sickness. All those months a vision of a tiny blonde person with delicate features kept my sanity. Everytime things got to hard or I was in the hospital AGAIN. I would meditate on what I assumed Catie would look like.

After 30 hours of hard labor and a 3rd degree tear (during wich I meditated on THAT baby) I was presented with this dark curly haired baby. She had strong features and dimples. She didnt look anything like I had imagined her. It took me a minute. She wasnt who I thought shed be.

It took me a minute to mourn the loss of the baby Id imagined. One minute later though, I was totally in love with who I was really sopposed to have...

I guess my point is, dont feel bad about taking a minute to mourn the loss of Lingling. It will take a minute (or a month or two) and then you'll be free to fall in love with Katya from Russia, or Maria from Columbia, or Marta from the Netherlands... whomever she is.

BIG Love ;)

nikki said...

I am so sorry that the door to China has closed for you...must've been very difficult.

I am, however, glad to hear that another door has opened and you will be expanding your family.

I look forward to hearing more!