Space Cowboy

I visited Sara and the babies the other night and Jake showed off his cowboy hat. He's now sleeping in his big boy rocketship bed, which is too cute. Marc built it and Sara painted it and it's gotta be the coolest toddler bed I've seen. You can click here for more pictures of my nephews and the rocket ship bed.

Just in case you were wondering...

Why did I name this blog "bless your heart"? Well, for one, it's hard to come up with something witty when you're under pressure. So I just went with something I say a lot. And when you're Southern you bless everyone's heart all the time. Every day someone's heart get's blessed. It just means we love you and care!

Now, in honor of my Southern roots I'm going to quiz you fine folk on how Southern you are at heart. Emily Procter was on Ellen a little while back and quizzed Ellen with this and I thought it was so cute. So here goes. Scroll down for answers. You're on the honor system here.

1- When you tell a child to "give me some sugar", what do you mean?
2- Describe "yonder".
3- If you're driving down a 2 lane road in the South and you're behind a car who's blinker is on, will they be turning or not?
4- What is the plural of Ya'll?
5- Is the word "fixin" a noun, a verb, or both?












1- Gimme a kiss!
2- Over there.
3- They are not turning.
4- All Ya'll!
5- Both


Now I'm fixin to go ovah yonder to get me some sugar from my nephews. All Ya'll go drink some sweet tea with all the fixins now! Mwah!

Well I Nevah!

I was born a prissy, prissy thing. Apparently as a little girl I'd walk around holding my hands up like I'd just scrubbed in for surgery as to avoid any contact with dirt. It's no secret. I'm also more of an inside girl. Sure, I love travel and snorkeling and such, but I'm not so much into the camping or hiking. And I'm pretty laid back. Jon is too. We have our beliefs and convictions but we don't get into bar brawls over them. So it came as quite a surprise when 2 of my relatives, who've known me my entire life, offered up the following suggestions for our upcoming 4th wedding anniversary mini holiday.

#1- Uncle Bobby sends an email in response to a note I sent explaining we'd be in town in a couple weeks for our anniversary and would love to see him and the kids. His email seems innocent enough. Until you get to the part where he writes: "On March 5th, we plan to go to a peace march and we would love to have you guys join us. People Educating with an Active Commitment to Equality (P.E.A.C.E) will stage a march and street party/rally against the continued occupation of Iraq and the policies of the Bush administration. March 15th marks the 2nd anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, and our rally is a local event to mark that occasion.
See you soon, bring your camera
BOB

#2- My Father calls one day from "a mountain in Alabama". I had no idea they had mountains in Alabama. I don't really know much about Alabama. I'm sure it's a wonderful place, it just hasn't crossed my mind much. My Dad told me he was hunting deer there and staying in an RV that he keeps on some land a friend of his owns. "You and Jon can come here to get away from it all. Stay a few days. Now, you have to haul your own water."

Now, people, let's talk about these 2 insane people. First of all, sure, I voted Kerry. But I am not planning on strapping myself to a tree or yelling "Go limp! Dead weight!" as the cops drag me off from some march/rally that they are trying to disguise as a street party. Whatever Bobby. Jon and I plan on taking the pugs to the beach, doing some shopping, and chilling out. None of that involves yelling in the street about W and his policies. And I love how Uncle Bobby's all sure that we'd go. See you soon, bring your camera. Don't hold your breath Bob.

And Daddy, what the hell? When have you evah (sorry, had to go way down South for this one) known me to "haul my own water" anywhere? And I assume that when you haul your own water that means there's no spa tub or functioning toilet. My idea of roughing it is when we stay at the mountain house and have to drop our trash off at the dump on the way out of town. I'm not spending our romantic weekend in Deliverance country with 2 pugs and a husband who's probably not thrilled that since he had to haul his own water that means the chances of him getting a good, cold, draught beer anywhere close to our accommodations is pretty slim.

I swear my Daddy and my uncle have gone and lost their minds! They should really talk to Grandmommy the travel agent before they go making suggestions!

Cruisin With the Oldies

My Mom and I went to visit my Grandmommy the other day. She's the one who lives in a rural area about an hour and a half south of here. I don't know if you remember, but she's the one who's boyfriend Ray lives in the trailer on the next lot. He's the one who fell drunk out of a tree, had a heart attack on the way down, and landed on his face where he stayed for 2 days before anyone found him. Heh. Anyway, we go down to visit with her and go out to lunch. While out at lunch she tells us about how she's always wanted to go on a cruise, an Alaskan cruise, but the length of an Alaskan cruise is a little intimidating. So she wants to try out a shorter Caribbean cruise, and she wants to go with Ray. Oh Lord. So my Mom says why not let Shannon do some research for you on the web and get you a good deal? I said I would be happy to plan it for her. Grandmommy said "Well, I already paid some money on it." Oh.

me- So where are you going?
G- I don't know.
me- Ok, so when are you leaving?
G- I don't know. I have a book on it at home.
Mom jumped in and said we'll just look at it when we get home.
So we have lunch then drive home and I ask for the cruise book. Now, the book I got when Lisa and I cruised last explained all the details of our specific trip, including info about our cabin and shore excursions. Grandmommy's just talked about cruising with Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and then there was a section on vacationing in Florida. I point this out and she hands me the other information that came with it.

OH MY WORD. My Grandmommy, bless her heart, has not put down a deposit on a cruise. No, she has signed up to be a travel agent. A TRAVEL AGENT! And none of the information actually tells her how to be a travel agent, or gives her any instructional information. So we took the packet so we can get it canceled and hopefully get her money back. Grandmommy needs to quit watching tv and go play shuffleboard or something!

Hot Pink Bandage- STAT!

My baby girl pug hurt herself playing. She came in from outside and a few minutes later Jon says "OK, who's bleeding?". There were little drops of blood all over the kitchen floor. She somehow ripped out a fingernail! Poor thing- it was all hanging there crooked. So I took her to the vet where she charmed everyone and was a big trooper. Our vet dressed her in a hot pink bandage. A girl's gotta look good, even when injured!

*Unrelated- I've put some new scrapbooking supplies on eBay. Check em out!

You've Gotta Have Friends

We've been loving Netflix for almost a year now and they just keep getting better and better. Now they have a new friends feature that allows people to recommend movies to each other and see how we've all rated movies. Lisa and Rachel are already signed up to be my friends and it's cool. So anyone else out there using Netflix and wanna be friends?

All trips are off!

Since my nephew Joey was born on January 18, I've been playing phone tag with my father and grandparents (Nanny & Pappy). They all want to come up to see the babies and I've been elected to organize everything since Sara's busy with the babies. Which is fine, I'm a planner and I love planning visits. Every week since then I've gotten a phone call or two saying "We're coming up this weekend!" followed by another call the next day or so, "Trip is postponed." My Nanny and Pappy are in their 80's and Pappy is just about as blind as he can get now (remember, he's the one that watches his 60 inch plasma tv with binoculars) so planning a trip with them can't be easy for my Dad. The best message came the other day:

"Sara...Marc...Jacob...Joseph...You guys wake up! Oh wait. I'm at the wrong house. Sara, I mean, Shannon... Jon...Oh well, anyway this is your Daddy and we're coming up next weekend. Your cousin Stephanie had a baby boy, er girl. He weighed 8 lbs something and her name is Cody. We'll be staying at a motel Friday night then coming to your house Saturday Shannon. We'll see Stephanie's baby on the way back south. I wanna see my grandbabies!" Ok, so apparently my cousin gave birth to a hermaphrodite, bless her heart.

Then yesterday I get this message: "All trips are off! Until further notice all trips are off. Nanny and Pappy are coming but they can't make it this weekend. So maybe in the next couple of weeks. Plus, I need to sell some dogs."

My father leaves these messages at the crack of dawn before anyone is awake to answer the phone. Which is fine because then they provide endless entertainment as my sister and I play them for each other. None of the messages ever make sense. Sell some dogs? He's not a dog breeder. And it's still a mystery as to what Stephanie gave birth to since no one in our family answers the phone! And Cody could go either way. Oy. Once this visit is all planned and they actually get here I may need to video tape it because no one will believe these people actually exist!

Nut Free Zone

I went to a play group with Sara & the babies the other day. It's not as easy for Sara to get out with the two babies as it was when it was just Jake so I'm trying to help when I can. The sign on the door read Nut Free Zone due to peanut allergies. Turns out that play group was full of nuts. Joey snoozed through the whole thing in the sling Sara carries him in. It holds him really tight against her but leaves her hands free. He loves it and apparently so do lots of Mommies as I saw a couple of those slings at this gathering.

Jake is pretty shy so we hung out at the craft table and decorated goody bags the whole time. Moms and babies would come over and play and it was all pretty standard stuff except for two exchanges:

1) The Mom that organized this gathering walked around with the sign in sheet making sure everyone signed in. She gets to me and asks if I signed in.
No, I'm the Aunt, so I didn't sign in, but I'm wearing my nametag.
Mom- But are you a Mommy?
Me- No.
Mom-You don't have any kids?
Me- No.
Mom- So, you aren't a Mommy, at all??
Now I'm feeling like I should just drop trou and show my scars and yell No I'm not a Mommy at all! Are you happy?? I got a good bit of satisfaction later in that her child clung to me for some reason and wouldn't mind her mother while we were there.

2) So Moms and babies were dropping by the craft table and we'd all chat. One Mommy with an adorable blonde boy was wearing a cute bracelet that from what I could tell had letter charms on it. I wasn't close enough to see what it spelled, so I asked.
Me- What a cute bracelet. Does it spell your little boy's name?
Mom- No, it's my daughter's name. She was stillborn.
Me- Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Mom- Yeah, well me too.
She looks at me like how dare I ask that question, grabs her kid and goes to the other side of the room. Sara and I look at each other like what just happened?? Is she not wearing her dead child's name on her arm for the world to see? How was I to know? It was an innocent question. I felt so badly for her, but I wasn't prying, I don't think. Am I the only one who would ask that question of her?

That may be my last play group for a while! =)

Mini D

*click to enlarge picture (you've gotta see the details on this thing!)

My FIL's birthday was last month, but one of his presents didn't come in the mail until the day after his birthday. Sunday night was the first time we were all able to get together to give it to him. Dennis is very hard to buy for. Very. We racked our brains until I saw Whoopass Enterprises' website and knew that any business with Whoopass in the name couldn't steer us wrong! And even though Chief Justice D has everything, we knew he didn't have a bobbling mini D. So over the course of the holidays I took a ton of pictures of D from every angle, uploaded the best ones on the order form, and a few weeks later mini D arrives at our doorstep. I couldn't be more pleased with how much the bobble resembles D. Right down to the mole on his cheek. They did take some liberties with the size of his bald spot on the back, but they gave him more hair than he has so all was forgiven.

He opened up the box, gasped (hand to mouth), and was delighted the rest of the night. One of the fun add ons I ordered with the bobble is a little recorder that is hidden under the base. So he thought of all sorts of things to record. Then when anyone touches the bobble head it talks to them. Very cute! D said that it's very bizarre to open a box and see yourself staring back at you, but he couldn't wait to take himself to work the next day!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

My how they've grown! Click to enlarge the pic. Ike, Kea, Jon, & I wish you all a very happy Valentine's Day full of lurve!

We don't have any plans as our anniversary is in just a couple of weeks so we've never made a big deal of Valentine's Day. Plus, Jon's a grocery store manager and one of his departments is floral. And, sinve 99.9% of the men around here wait until on their way to their Valentine's dates to buy flowers, Jon's worked until midnight every Valentine's Day we've shared. I blame you, procrastinating men of America, for keeping my man away on a romantic holiday. So, it's me and the pugs tonight. But don't feel badly for me...we have a fabulous wedding anniversary plan in the works, and that is just a couple of weeks away!

Again, Happy Valentine's Day! Pugs & Kisses!

Puggy Love

(click to enlarge)

We can not believe it but it has been a year since we brought Kea home. She came home a few days before Super Bowl. 2004's Valentine's Day cards were her first holiday cards. People who received the cards thought she was a new toy we had bought for Ike, not realizing she was real. She was so shy at first, now she is a holiday card photo shoot pro!

Junkie

Junkie
Originally uploaded by bless your heart.

Kea carries this prescription bottle around with her all the time. She loves chewing on the lid. The bottle is as big as she is!
All that money spent on fun dog toys and she goes for the free bottle that comes with my prescriptions!

Dead Squirrels Smell Better

I love my pugs more than I have ever loved pets before. As you know, I photograph them often- most of the time while they are wearing silly outfits. They sleep with us. We talk about them like most people talk about their children. The thought of any harm coming to them puts my stomach in knots and tears my heart out. So it pains me to say this.

The fumes their little curly tailed asses have been producing since we switched them to grown up Iams dog food are so horrible I can barely type. I swear, not only can their farts peel the paint from the walls, my skin is peeling from my bones. Tiny woodland creatures must have crawled up their butts to die. It's the only explanation I can come up with. And it's weird really, because they don't smell otherwise. They get regular baths with sweet smelling shampoo. They don't have bad breath. Ike smells like Fritos, always has, and Kea doesn't really smell like anything except sweet puggy love. Until about an hour after dinner time. Then you can see the fumes rising in the air like on cartoons. The cats put on their little gas masks and Jon and I just curl into the fetal position and cry.

We may need some sort of canine flatulence intervention before we go insane.

***I must clarify something here. I appreciate all the advice, but I may have come off as being too serious here. Pug farts are a funny subject in this house because there is nothing you can do. They could eat Fred's Fart Free Food and still find a way to fart. The vet said it's normal to experience some farty behaviour when switching food so we're not concerned. I apologize for the apparent overuse of sarcasm in the above post! We love their stinky butts!

Super Colic Goonh!

While watching the Super Bowl we were wondering why the Patriots were flapping their arms like birds when they'd get a touchdown. I said it must be because they were mocking the Eagles. Not very nice. Hale had some argument to that, he was rooting for the Pats. My Mom piped up- "Well, that's just stupid (for them to flap their arms), I mean, Patriots aren't even birds." And there's your report from the department of the painfully obvious. =)

We watched the Super Bowl at my sister's house. She's trapped in the house with a toddler who's in bed by 7pm and a newborn who has colic. Poor little guy. I'd always heard about colic, but never really knew what it meant. Apparently it has to do with gas or something. Poor Joey cries and cries and cries FOR HOURS WITHOUT STOPPING. There are a few moments here and there of not crying, but mostly it's crying, full volume, non stop. I don't know how Sara hasn't killed herself. And poor baby, it's gotta hurt to cry like that for so long. If I have a good 30 minute cryfest I'm a wreck with puffy eyes and a sore head. So you know he's hurting.

We all took turns holding him, trying to soothe him. He somehow knew if you sat down for even a second and he'd wail again. He must be constantly in motion with a gentle bounce. See, how does she do it? How do you stay in constant motion with a gentle bounce and make lunch for your other son? She's a super hero that's how. Any way, he also demands to be held really tightly, so by the end of the night we all had rigormortis in our arms!

I will end on a cute note though. Jake, the older nephew at 23 months, is so cute I can't stand it! His latest thing is putting his play car, you know the big plastic roundy car, in front of the tv. He gets Sara's keys, his snacks, and his sunglasses and hops in the driver's seat. Then he yells "Bye! Goonh!" and waves furiously. He'll sit there and watch tv all afternoon. But the BYE! GOONH! doesn't stop. Apparently goonh is the word he substitutes for any word he can't say. In this case we think goonh means See You Later. Oh, and you must say Bye! See you later! back to him, each time, or he'll just run over and yell it closer to your ears.

So everyone have a good day! Bye! Goonh!

New Space

New year, new space, new happenings.