Secret lovahs

Thank you for all your sweet emails & crds! My hand is getting better everydayt but ut is still bandaged so I can't type with iut. So I thought I''d do some cutting and pasting so y'all can see the fun I'm having with my sister'sa boyfriend, He's adorab;e and I'm so excited she finally has a sweet boy whp adores her, the last guy was psycho. Anyway one day I received this message from him and it styarted a fun back anfd forth. I've only edited out last names.


Shannon,
From the first time i met you out @ peppys i knew that we belonged together.
The only things in our way are John and Morgan, and i can have them taken care of if you know wut i mean.
I just wanted you to know that wut ever happens between morgan and i will not effect us
I Love You Shannon R********.

With all my hearts love,
MoE

Oh Moe-
How long I have waited for this day, these words, this note! I am thrilled beyond words that you are ready to take our love to the next level. You will be an excellent husband and father. Ooh can't wait to get a car seat in your truck! Once Morgan gets over her heart ache after losing you maybe she can babysit for us. I will keep our secret when you "take care" of Jon and Morgan. It's time for you to leave the girl & experience a woman. It will be better for all of us this way. I can no longer live the lie.
I love you Moe Insert Last Name!
Your's forever,
Shannon

Shannon,
I know that i seem a little shy, but really im as sensative as a cavity and sweet as a jolly rancher.

the poem that i just made up in this unknown mind of mine will fill you heart with joy and banish John from your mind.

SWEET
HEVENLY
ASTONISHING
NICE
NAUGHTY
ON GOING CREATIVITY
NOW MINE!!!!!!!!

With all my love taken from from Morgan and given to You
and plenty more where that came from,
MoE

P.S.

I stayed up all night reading the dictionary for those words sence you "caint" read redneck!

P.S.S

Meet me in the middle of Fort Mill walking park Sunday morning @ 3:00AM
and we can confess out love to one another

Moe-
So I dug down deep in my heart and wrote this rap song just for you. Your poem really inspired me. Oh, and where were you at 3am???

Oh Moe,
I love you so.
You make my heart go whoa.
You're the only one, dontcha know?
This chance wid you I will not blow.
Cause you're my buck and I'm your doe.
I'll love you like no one's loved you befo.
Our love won't die it will only grow.
Just remember I'm a woman, I ain't no one's ho.
We ain't rich, we may be po
But we be happy, don't you think so?
Go ahead and dump Momo
She'll be fine, she'll find another bro.
Maybe she could date a dude named Joe.
Oh Moe, I love you from your head down to your toe.
If you liked pudding I'd make you pistachio.
You got my heart going turbo.
I'd love you even if you were an albino.
My heart is ready to overflow.
I just wish you didn't smoke tobacco.
For you I fell like a domino.
Your love's a storm like a tornado.
You make me dizzy like I've got vertigo.
If we were Mexican you'd be my amigo.
If you ever leave me I'll be blue, like indigo.
When you're hungry I'll bake you a potato.
When you're thirsty I'll make you hot cocoa.
I'll do anything for you, today or tomorrow.
You've got me as high as a rainbow.
It's true, other men I'll forego.
I've been shot in the heart by Cupid's bow.
Our love we'll never outgrow.
You're so cute from your head to your elbow,
your eyes, your face, your skin, your torso.
We could run away, live in a borough.
We could go to Alaska and you could be my Eskimo.
We could live on a farm and for you I'd grow
onions, carrots, even a tomato.
Cause when I saw you my heart said "HELLO!"
And now I love you with such gusto.
At Christmas I'll kiss you under the mistletoe.
And cook you pasta with pesto.
Until we meet again, no I must go.
But believe me without you I'm hollow.
With you I'm all aglow!
Oh Moe, I love you so.
Yo.
True dat.
xoxo

Mall stalker

At the urging of my sister I went ahead and joined an online local mom's group. I've already met one adoptive mom (from yesterday's play date) and have chatted with and learned from many more adoptive moms. The bio moms aren't too bad either ;) So one of the moms is selling Citipass books for her child's PTA. I wanted one and we made arrangements to meet at the mall's play area at 9:30 this morning. I got there and realized I couldn't remember her real name, just her screen name. So I walked up to the play area and asked the moms inside if any of them were from my mom's group.
Are you Shannon?
Yes.
You just missed her! She went that way. You can probably catch her if you hurry. Her son was acting up.
Oh no! Thanks. What's her name?
I don't know. All I know is her screen name.
Me too! Well, what's she wearing?
I don't remember. But she has brown hair and is pushing a stroller.

*Let me just tell you that it was before the mall opened and the mall was teaming with mall walkers. And I'd say roughly half were moms with brown hair and strollers.

Ok thanks!

And off I ran, or rather limped quickly as my sprained ACL in my right knee is still healing. Let me set the scene. I was wearing a lavendar outfit comprised of crop pants and v neck long sleeved top and light blue Crocs. I am not a runner. I am aware that I need to get in shape. And I was hot. And when I get hot I turn red. After passing a few stores I spotted a woman with longish brown hair and a blue stroller. So I picked up the pace and decided to call out to her. But what? All I knew was "lilmomma" her screen name. So I figured I'd just yell my own name and hopefully she'd hear it and think hey I was supposed to meet a Shannon.

Shannon!! Shannon!!

OMG I'm yelling my own name in a mall. All I got was a few odd looks from the shop keepers opening up for the day. I tried yelling Ma'am! But then every woman within 50 feet of me EXCEPT HER turned around. I thought of asking the freakishly fast power walkers to tell her to wait for me when they caught up with her but then realized that was seriously stalkerish.
Luckily she slowed up a bit at a couple of points and the crowd thinned a bit once we'd covered half the lap around the mall. So I broke out into the following screaming refrain:

Shannon!!
Ma'am!!
Lilmomma!!

Over and over I yelled this, like some bizarre window shopper with Tourettes. She looked over her shoulder in my direction from time to time but apparently didn't see me waving my arms. Then a group of people passed in front of her and I was finally able to get within 20 feet or so. I yelled Ma'am!! one more time and she finally turned around and looked at me.

I'm Shannon! Please stop!

"Oh hey!," She said and we made our way to some benches where I collapsed in a sweaty, huffing & puffing, Easter egg colored heap. "I thought someone was following me!"
Really? Cause you could have turned around at oh, mile 8 and saved me a heart attack! I bought my book and we chatted for a while before walking back the way we came to our cars.

There better be some damn good coupons in this book.

Uncle Creepy

If you need a good laugh today, click here and check out Weird Al's short video parody of Taylor Hicks' "Do I Make You Proud". Heh.

On the cutting edge of pop culture

The other day while on the phone with my mom:
Mom: Did you watch tv last night?
Shanny: Yep.
M: Did you watch any cartoons?
S: No, why?
M: I saw the most bizarre cartoon last night. I think it was supposed to be a cartoon for adults though. Maybe you've seen it. There's this dog that talks and a baby with a football shaped head.
S: Uh, yeah Mama, that would be Family Guy. Jon and I have been watching that for years.
M: The dog drinks martinis. Bizarre.

A while back I got a similar phone call where she told me she'd found a show I might like where "they take 7 strangers, put them in a house to live with each other, and show you what happens." 3 guesses what show she's talking about.

Where the Swedes kick my Southern ass all the way home

Driving to Atlanta, shopping at IKEA, eating at Lisa's, fighting over smokers, more shopping, driving home, and unloading is a crippling experience. But I can't resist the call of the affordable Swedish homewares. As soon as you walk through the doors something happens to you. Me, my brain slides out of my ears and lies in a quivering mass on the floor. I can never go to IKEA and get my order right. EVER. What did I screw up this time? I bought 2 sconces that must be hardwired instead of the ones that plug in, 3 shades for the screened porch that are 9 inches too short (and I was armed with measurements from home), 3 toliet brush holders instead of toilet tissue holders, and 1 giant cracked mirror. I am a shopping dumbass.
Our drive down was fun and liesurely AND we witnessed an up close and personal Fast and Furious Atlanta style as 5 or 6 souped up Hondas stopped- stopped!!- on the highway then took off like rockets with tires smoking. They crossed 5 lanes of traffic before hitting the exit ramp. We stayed in a fabulous hotel with a modern flare and enjoyed the giant plasma tv, ginger smelling shampoo and soap, and the free breakfast. We did not, however, enjoy the person who insisted on smoking in the room adjacent to ours. Since they were adjoining rooms the smoke came right under the door and flew right down my CPAP machine tube into my lungs. The entire hotel is non-smoking so this was an issue. Susan called down to the desk and told them about it so we wouldn't get charged the $200 smoking fee and so they'd make the smoker stop. We went back to sleep, but the drama didn't end there.
Saturday we shopped at IKEA about all day- 366,000 square feet is a lot of ground to cover, especially when every Atlanta resident is there with you. Man was it crowded! We loaded up our purchases and quickly got lost on the many highways that crisscross the metro Atlanta area. We pulled into a McDon@lds and asked the drive through girl what town we were in while Lisa looked up directions. We finally made it to their house and enjoyed a fabulous dinner and even better company. We laughed and talked til late and headed back to the hotel. Our room smelled clean again so we were hopeful. We were so tired and sore and went right to sleep. Only to be woken up at 2am with a room full of smoke again. This time Susan brought the front desk guy up to our room and do you know what he said? That we just smelled carpet cleaner or incense!!! My ass! We were so tired it just wasn't worth it to switch rooms so we endured another fitful night's sleep. By this time our clothes smelled even! We made sure to talk to the manager when we checked out and secured coupons for a free future visit. We went back to IKEA to return the 7 foot long curtain rods I bought the day before for our 3 foot wide windows. Duh. We couldn't help ourselves and went back through the store one more time before hitting the road.
We stopped for lunch on the way home and had the strangest waitress. Each time she'd refill our drinks or bring us something and we'd say thank you she'd say "thank YOU". It was so weird.
We finally got home with all our goodies and deemed it a fantastic weekend. I was so glad Susan liked IKEA too. And of course, I can't wait to go back!

L-L-Lisa's in the hizzouse!

Highlights from Lisa's visit:
Saturday I picked her up at the airport and we had lunch, got our nails done, then headed over to my mom's house to hang out. My nephews were spending the weekend there so we were able to see them as well. And Lisa got to be a part of an exciting event- my little sister Morgan receiving her 1st car! We went on a test drive to the grocery store and had a great dinner.
Sunday we met up with Susan, Will, & little Miss O for dinner.We had a great time visiting with them and cooing over O. I don't wanna brag, but my little niecelet can say my name. The kid is a genius.
Monday we met up with my mom and went down to my Grandmommy's house (the one with Alzheimer's). My mom gave Gmommy a haircut and we took her to lunch. We had fun with Gmommy and on the way home we decided to stop and see my aunt and uncle. We'll call them Nina and Larry. We haven't been to their house for about 10 years, since the Thanksgiving when Uncle Larry set himself on fire- a story for another time. They weren't home and a quick call on the cell later and we were meeting them at the local watering hole. At 4pm on a Monday. OK. We walked into the bar, which was less of a bar and more of a cinder block outhouse that served alcohol, and Aunt Nina greeted us in her Marge's sister voice and asked if we'd like something to drink "...but all they got is beer." I ordered a Sprite and after some quick catching up with my aunt and uncle, Lisa and I went to the less smokey part of the bar to play bar video games while my Mom and Aunt Nina discussed my Gmommy's current state of health and living arrangements. It was all so bizarre. We stayed for a while and then laughed all the way home over the strangeness of my family.
Lisa had to go home Tuesday. I was sad to see her go and can't wait for her to come visit again!

Unique

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Apparently, I do not exist. Our last name is too unique for the above system. 15 people are walking around with my maiden name though. Turns out I come from a unique family too. While there are 12 other Morgans out there, Sara's the only one of her kind (with her married name) but there are 16 of her single name. No Hot as Hales in this country either. My Mom's the only one out there with her name.
Go check yerself out and see how many of you populate this planet!