I've been tagged

She Tagged me!

I'm It! Lisa Tagged me!

The idea is to pick 5 and complete the sentences, then pass this little meme on to 3 more of your blog pals! But no tag backs!

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge...
If I could be a Jedi...
If I could be a mob boss...
If I could be a fast food restaurant worker...
If I could be a preacher..

If I could be a scientist... I'd find a cure for cancer. And AIDS of course. Cancer really pisses me off. It's so indesciminate. You can be perfectly healthy, not smoke and get it and die. I'd also invent a mega sunscreen for pale people like me that would smell great, give you a non streaky, non orange fake tan, wouldn't sting your eyes, would sparkle of course, and wouldn't come off until you wanted it to.
If I could be a judge...I'd lock up child molesters, domestic abusers, rapists, and murderers for life at the first offense with no parole. And I'd make sure their cellmate was a pissed off burly man named Snake who needed a girlfriend.
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... I'd interview all my favorite celebrities. I'd have my research department find local people doing good all over the country and I'd fly them out to my show. Then I'd take all the millions of dollars I made and I'd finance adoption for people like us.
If I could be an innkeeper...Oh, I love this one. I'd have a cozy bed and breakfast in the NC mountains. We'd have horses and croquet on the lawn. There'd be badminton and pancakes anytime you wanted them. And if you adopted you'd get a free night at the inn.
If I could be a bonnie pirate...This is my favorite one. I'd have a fabulous ship. I'd never steal or pillage. I'd be independently wealthy from my talk show days. I'd live in an amazing house with tons of windows and big porches all round on a gorgeous island in the Bahamas with Jon and our 5 Chinese children. We'd have hammocks all over the place. A steel drum band would play music all the time. We'd wear sarongs and go barefoot and drink lots of fruity umbrella drinks. Oh, and we'd zip around the island on brightly colored Vespa scooters. Then when we felt like it we'd take our fully equipped ship and the steel drum band out to explore the islands. All of our friends would come too of course!

Ok, now I tag...Andrea, Sara, and Shannon O..